Hello, I’m Jessi Michel. I live on the outskirts of Omaha, Nebraska. I am mommy to two beautiful girls, one on earth and one in Heaven. Our second daughter, Freya Grace, was born into the arms of Jesus on March 27, 2019 after a healthy, full-term (39 weeks) pregnancy. She was perfect in every way, all 5 pounds, 14 ounces and 20 inches of her. She had Mommy’s dark hair, Daddy’s eyebrows, Big Sister’s lips, and the Michel family chin. She loved green apples, Cadbury eggs, bedtime stories, and snuggles with her Big Sister. She was the answer to our family’s hopes and prayers.
Due to Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) with Freya’s big sister, we had been monitored for growth every month during pregnancy, and her percentiles looked good. Our last growth scan was at 36 weeks. Her growth was declining, but according to her mathematical growth scan trends, she was not in danger and would remain above the 10th percentile, which I now know is the point when professionals start to worry about complications like stillbirth. The risk of stillbirth was never mentioned to me. I naively thought she would just be a smaller baby; no big deal. So, we were scheduled for induction at 39 weeks, “just to be safe.” At 39 weeks, we went in to deliver a healthy, happy baby, except that we didn’t.
We were shocked and devastated, including our doctor and nurses. Freya was in the ninth percentile when she was born. Doctors think she stopped growing around 36/37 weeks and that she died in the early morning hours before our 9:30 a.m. scheduled induction. We were told Freya’s placenta was “small and old.”
I thought I was doing everything right. I ate cleanly and organically. I did yoga. I read and sang to her. I slept on my side. We had extra growth scans every month that should have caught any problems, right?
I paid attention to her movements and thought I had the correct information to monitor her growth and movement. But, if I had, I would have known that Freya was sending me a distress call the day before our induction. Her large and sudden movements were out of character. I was just relieved she had moved that hour, and was following the incorrect reassurance from medical professionals that she was “just getting ready for delivery” and that she was “out of room,” which is NOT true! Babies should not run out of room or slow their movements in the third trimester. There is a huge gap of misinformation that, as a Count the Kicks Ambassador, I hope to remedy. I want to help save babies’ lives and prevent stillbirth in my state and throughout the country.
Our family has a gaping hole in our hearts and in our lives where Freya should be. As a mom and stillbirth survivor, it is my mission that no more families leave the hospital without their babies due to a preventable stillbirth. Since Freya’s death I have learned a great deal about fetal movement monitoring and stillbirth prevention tools and have been active in the stillbirth community supporting baby loss survivors and advocating for stillbirth prevention efforts. Let’s work together to educate and empower expectant families to give all the opportunity to bring home a healthy, happy baby.
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