Hello, my name is Melissa Alke-Sparnroft and I live in Queens, New York. Our firstborn son, Jackson Owen, was born still at 24 weeks on Monday, Oct. 19, 2020. My husband and I last felt Jackson’s strong kicks on a rainy Friday night. Over the weekend I didn’t feel movement, but kept reassuring myself that at 24 weeks and with an anterior placenta, kicks aren’t yet felt consistently. I called my OB-GYN on Sunday and she said I could go to Labor & Delivery to be monitored but also wasn’t overly concerned because up until that point I had a normal, uncomplicated pregnancy.
Going up to L&D I was afraid I would have to go in alone because that had been the rule during the height of the pandemic. When I got up there the feeling that everything should be alright was a general consensus at check-in, and I felt like an overanxious mom, but also terrified that something was wrong. I found out my husband could come up and we were excited to think that he could see Jackson’s ultrasound in person for the first time.
However, when I settled into the triage room and I was hooked up onto the monitor, they had a hard time finding his heartbeat. We heard something, but I was quickly told it was my heartbeat. It was then we heard the dreaded, “I’m sorry there is no heartbeat.” In that very second our lives were forever changed.
Around 5 a.m. Monday morning, Jackson Owen was born. We held him for as long as we could, giving him the love and kisses that he should have received for a lifetime, not for only a few hours. He was so small, but I remember feeling the weight of him in my arms. We didn’t want to leave him, and I wish we could have held him longer, took more pictures. But we had no choice; we had to leave the hospital without him.
We later found out that Jackson had a partially circumvallate placenta and fetal vascular malperfusion. Essentially, the placenta failed to provide the oxygen and nutrients our son needed. We were fortunate enough to have an autopsy and a review of his placenta. The months following Jackson’s death involved researching everything I could regarding stillbirth. At some point, I came across Count the Kicks. For Jackson’s second birthday, we began donating Count the Kicks material to our OB-GYN office, high-risk clinic and hospital with Jackson’s younger brother in tow.
I am honored to be a Count the Kicks Ambassador for New York. Volunteering in the stillbirth prevention space is my way of parenting and honoring Jackson. My goal is to share Count the Kicks with as many expectant parents as possible in NYC and beyond, and for them to learn their baby’s normal movements and have the confidence to speak up when they feel that something is off. My hope is that we can prevent other families from experiencing the devastating grief of stillbirth.
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